Friday, April 4, 2008

Who's Who?

When I was in fourth grade, I heard from my sister that a classmate's dad had been in prison when he was younger.

One day, I got mad at my friend and said something to the effect of, "Well, at least, my dad has never been in prison." She had no idea. I'm sure her parents really appreciated our friendship at the time.

I think that may have been one of the meanest things I did as a child. I mean, besides the usual snotty, mean things that girls just do. But, that is the first thing that I can remember doing that was totally uncalled for, and I did it just to hurt her and get a reaction.

I feel a lot worse about it now, than I did at the time. Especially, now that I have a daughter of my own and I saw her feelings get hurt by one of her best friends.

No- her friend didn't spill the beans that we've been in prison . . . She told Maddie that she didn't want to be her friend anymore.

Coming from a friend that she has had for most of her life, that's a big deal. Particularly to a four year old.

We had decided to have a play date at my apartment. So, my friend brought her twin granddaughters to play. This is one of the first times we've had friends over to play. Mainly because we live far away from most of our friends.

They were in her room playing, we were catching up with each other's lives. Maddie came into the room and started to cry. Lips quivering, voice breaking, heart broken.

"Sh-she doens't w-w-want to be my f-friend."

"Who, darling?"

"That girl."

"Which one? Was is Mary or Kate?"

"I. Don't. Know!"

The twins are identical. She couldn't tell them apart.

I know that what I did, back in fourth grade, was really mean. But, at that moment, I thought that what Maddie was going through was worse than being told her daddy had been in prison.

There was only one of me. Maddie had no idea which girl she should be upset with. Or, tattle on.

I think that's what bothered her the most. Because, while I may have been the mean girl, Maddie is definitely the tattletale.

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Irene said...

Aw, it absolutely kills me when kids are mean..especially when they are SO young and innocent. Luckily, or unluckily, my oldest had a cousin who was/is one of her best friends. But he also has a very mean streak. She has been taught from a very early age how to handle it when someone says something really mean...just walk away and ignore them.

But that is hilarious that she can't tell them apart!!!!

jenipooh92802 said...

I guess it doesn't bother her when she hears "She's not my cousin anymore!" cause I know that all three of them have said it to each other. Victoria says it all the time if they get upset at each other. But you know deep down, they trully love each other. I think its just a stage they go through in life.

Love Sis

noble pig said...

Oh it kills to the bone when kids are mean to your kids. It actually hurts. I'm sorry that your little girl got hurt.

Nicole said...

Only in preschool, I already see signs of "I don't like her" coming from the kids. Whenever I hear it, I tell my girls "We're nice to everyone, no matter what."

I'm haunted by a similar 4th or 5th grade ghost that I have often wondered if I should try to apologize for. I wouldn't know where to start to find the girl, but I know I was mean to her and hate myself for it these days. I hope to keep my girls from doing the same!

cyndy said...

That is just so sad! Poor Maddie. Those darned kids should identify themselves better!

Amy said...

I stood in a playground and watched some girls refuse to play with my daughter. It was devastating to both of us. On the walk home I used the opportunity to teach her to never exclude anyone from playing with her, even her sister.

Anonymous said...

That is so funny -- the ending about the twins I mean. Not the part about her being told the little girl doesn't want to be her friend anymore.

That is so are really cruel.

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