Anatomy Of A Play Date

One hour prior to play date: Tell 4 yr old that we will be meeting up with her best friend from school to swim. Sheer excitement ensues and she can't wait to see her friend. She begins to make grandiose plans of what will happen on play date.


First 30 minutes of play date: Kids hug. Smiles abound. They run into the water and begin to frolick and splash. Life is good.


Next 30 minutes: Kids decide that whatever swim toy the other has, she MUST have. Negotiations and common sense will not work- so don't even try.


30 minutes later: Children are friends again. For now. They play water princesses and harrass whichever adult is brave enough to be in the water with them.


Last 30 minutes of play date: Lots of "I don't want to be your friend." "You can't come to my house. Ever." "You aren't being nice." "If you don't wanna be my friend, I don't wanna be your friend." From both of the girls who 30 minutes before had been water princess sisters. No hugs. No smiles. Parents pack up and say goodbyes, hoping the kids will be quiet, so maybe the chance of another play date isn't out of the question.


On the way home: "Mommy, when can we see her again? I love her."

I'm Just Glad We're Moving At The End Of Summer

As I may have mentioned, we are leaving this apartment for good. Our house should be finished by the end of July. Needless to say, we are ecstatic.

I've always liked my apartment. I like my next door neighbor that plays in the house band for the Grand Ole Opry and tells me crazy stories of the Opry in the 60's. I like the convenience of it being 5 minutes to everything, especially Target. I like the fact that I've never had to fix anything and if the light bulb just happens to be blown in the room the maintenance people are working in, they go out to their little golf cart, get one of the good ones, and replace it without even asking.

I will miss those things a little bit.

I will not miss the skunk that lives in a hole right outside of our apartment. I will not miss the maintenance people walking in to change the air filter/spray for pests/check the smoke alarm at the most inopportune times- right after getting out of the shower, or nap time. I will not miss the cheapo carpet/refrigerator/stove/air conditioner. I will not miss the fight for parking spots.

Now that I think about it, I can only think of one thing that I will miss. A lot.

The pool.

During the summer, we spend most mornings at the pool. Usually with my friend and Maddie's future husband, Ethan.

It's free. There aren't many people swimming and splashing me. Lunch is just a short walk away. Maddie and Ethan play together in the water, while Christie and I hang out and do what we do best- talk.

The best thing about the pool, though, is the sheer exhaustion that follows.

Maddie is content to just relax for the rest of the day. There is no, "Can we go here?" "What are we gonna do tonight?" "Can we go to the mall?" "What fun thing is going to happen now?"

Instead, I hear, "I'm just gonna sit on the couch for a few minutes." "What movie can I watch?" "I don't really wanna go anywhere. I'm too tired."

Today, she even took a nap. For her, that's HUGE. She hasn't taken a non- car ride inducing nap in I don't know how long.

It was great.

So, while I will miss the pool and the memories it is sure to bring. I'll really miss the naps.

Good-Bye? Friend?

Do me a favor. Think of your closest childhood friend. Are you still friends? If not, and you ran into her one day, would you be able to pick up your friendship like it never stopped? Or, would it be an uncomfortable moment for both of you?

Me? I don't know. To any of those questions.

We met in 7th grade, and became fast friends. It continued through high school. Very few weekends passed that we didn't spend at each other's houses. I was just as much at home at her house as I was at mine, and I think she felt the same.

We kept in touch throughout college. But, like lots of friends, we drifted further and further apart. We would call each other about once a month and catch up. Eventually, that led to phone calls about every other month. Then every now and then.

About 8 years ago, my friend started going through some rough times. She told me that she had been having flashbacks from her childhood that I found hard to believe. A few years later, she developed a life threatening disease. She met and married the man of her dreams, but a few months into the marriage, he became abusive and she got a divorce.

The list goes on and on.

While she was going through all of this, I tried to be a good friend. I called. I left messages. I did what I could.

I believed her. Turns out, I shouldn't have.

A couple of years ago, I became suspicious. Her stories that she told were so outrageously crazy, I had a hard time believing anything she said. I'm not going to go into details, because I don't know who reads this, and if they have been lied to, it's my friend's resposibility to come clean.

My suspicions were confirmed. I found out that very little, if anything, she told me about what she was going through is true. I found out that she lied about me. And to me, about people I care about.

So, of course, I started wondering- was our friendship ever true? When did she start the lying?

I received a text message from her yesterday, asking how my week was going.

I wanted to tell her that we broke ground on our house. I wanted to tell her that I'm almost done with real estate school. I wanted to tell her that I've started a new job.

I wanted to tell her that I know. Everything. Was. A. Lie.

But, instead, I told her that everything was fine.

Should I tell her? Should I pretend everything is fine? Would she just tell me another lie about why she told the first one? What if I believe her? What if she reads this blog and we go through a "I know that you know that I know that you know. . ." thing.

What if we are no longer friends?

Were we ever? Really? Friends?

Who's Who?

When I was in fourth grade, I heard from my sister that a classmate's dad had been in prison when he was younger.

One day, I got mad at my friend and said something to the effect of, "Well, at least, my dad has never been in prison." She had no idea. I'm sure her parents really appreciated our friendship at the time.

I think that may have been one of the meanest things I did as a child. I mean, besides the usual snotty, mean things that girls just do. But, that is the first thing that I can remember doing that was totally uncalled for, and I did it just to hurt her and get a reaction.

I feel a lot worse about it now, than I did at the time. Especially, now that I have a daughter of my own and I saw her feelings get hurt by one of her best friends.

No- her friend didn't spill the beans that we've been in prison . . . She told Maddie that she didn't want to be her friend anymore.

Coming from a friend that she has had for most of her life, that's a big deal. Particularly to a four year old.

We had decided to have a play date at my apartment. So, my friend brought her twin granddaughters to play. This is one of the first times we've had friends over to play. Mainly because we live far away from most of our friends.

They were in her room playing, we were catching up with each other's lives. Maddie came into the room and started to cry. Lips quivering, voice breaking, heart broken.

"Sh-she doens't w-w-want to be my f-friend."

"Who, darling?"

"That girl."

"Which one? Was is Mary or Kate?"

"I. Don't. Know!"

The twins are identical. She couldn't tell them apart.

I know that what I did, back in fourth grade, was really mean. But, at that moment, I thought that what Maddie was going through was worse than being told her daddy had been in prison.

There was only one of me. Maddie had no idea which girl she should be upset with. Or, tattle on.

I think that's what bothered her the most. Because, while I may have been the mean girl, Maddie is definitely the tattletale.

The Least Favorite Part

It was a beautiful day that just screamed for the zoo. So, my best friend, Christie, and I packed up the kids and went.


We let Maddie and Ethan run ahead of us, only calling out if they got too far ahead of us, while we leisurely strolled behind. They had a blast. Life was good.

As we were getting close to finishing the loop, I started praying. Please don't let them see it. Please send a squirrel or something for them to chase, so they run right past it. Just LOCK the gates.


There is a part of the zoo, that every parent dreads. I always try to avoid it, but Maddie smells it, and I have no choice. No- it's not the concession stand. It's the petting zoo.




Home of the best groomed goats in Nashville.

Christie muttered under her breath, "This is my least favorite part of the zoo." "Mine, too."

And I felt a little bad about lying to her. Sure, the petting zoo is bad. And gross. And full of stinky goat pellets. But, it's not nearly as bad as what we were about to do.

Take two four year olds to the ginormous (yes, that's a word) playground. 66,000 feet of playground. I've been to this playground before, with both kids. And, something bad happened.

But, that was last year, and I had another adult with me. Surely, the kids will stay together, and we can keep an eye on both of them.


You guessed it.


Hearts pounding, eyes searching, mouths screaming ETHAN!!


Bless his heart, he was just as scared as we were when his mommy found him. Crying and walking alone.


But, not so scared, that he didn't do it again.


I think the second time really got to him, though.


As we were leaving, Christie told me that Ethan is banned from the zoo playground, until he is eight.


I think she may have a new least favorite part of the zoo.

Another Awkward Moment Featuring Me

I love going to the zoo. It's one of my favorite things to do with Maddie. It's also the perfect playgroup meeting place. We've had some scary moments at the zoo, but we always go back for more.

The last time we met at the zoo, I had an intensely awkward moment. I'm bringing it up because of Lindsay's recent posts about moms and dads having playgroups together. I have no problem with moms and dads having playgroups together. However, our playgroup started out with only moms, and we kept it that way. Mostly because we are good friends, and the group is as much for us, as it is for the kids.

There were several moms that couldn't make it to this particular playgroup at the zoo. The three of us that did go, made our rounds through the playground and to see some of the animals. We were on our way to the carousel when we saw the husband of one of the moms that we usually meet with. He told us that since his wife couldn't make it, he decided to bring their daughter.

This dad, in particular, is a super nice man. And, interesting in a slightly weird hippie way. Has long curly hair, wears beat up Birks, and has the smell of perpetual incense. Nothing against any of that, I'm just trying to give you a visual.

We all thought it was great that he would do that. We, as a group, made small talk, rode the carousel, and decided to walk to the elephant pavilion. Halfway there, the other two moms bailed. Decided they wanted to go eat.

Maddie and the other little girl were the only ones that really wanted to see the elephants. So, the dad and I started walking. Maddie and her friend were in the middle. Maddie grabbed my hand, then her friend's. Her friend then grabbed her daddy's hand.

We looked like a little family. But, we weren't.

It was a strange feeling, knowing that other people probably thought we were the parents. I tried to wiggle my hand from Maddie's, but she wasn't having it. I tried to get her to stop, so they could walk ahead of us. Nope.

We were walking along, the four of us still holding hands and, Is that. . . Oh crap, it is. Does it look like I'm on an illicit play date? Yep, I'm pretty sure it does. Great.

"Hey, guys! Funny seeing you here. . . Yeah, we're here with some friends. . . See ya later."

It was my husband's best friend and his family. They walked away, with his friend glancing back curiously at us. Yeah, good times at the zoo.

I did what any wife would do. Covered my tail. Quickly. I called Justin as soon as I could, and told him that no matter what Marc said, I WAS NOT having an affair with one of Maddie's friend's dad.

Especially not the hippie one.

Will You Be My Friend?

Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. It went something like this:

Her: I could not BELIEVE my mother-in-law did that. Is that not the meanest thing you've ever heard?

Me: That's crazy, all right. Listen to what happened to my friend, Melissa. . .

Her: Who?

Me: Melissa- another blogger.

Her: Oh- so, she's not a real friend.

Me: Ummmm, I kinda think she is. I would totally hang out with her. In fact, I consider lots of people my friends, even though we've never really met.

Her: No. Doesn't work like that.

And the debate continued.

What do you think? Am I a weirdo? Does anyone else do this? Am I out of line by considering you to be my friends, even though we've never met or even talked?

Cause, if you don't wanna be my friend- I want to know about it. But for now, I consider all of you my friends.

Like it or not.

That's What Friends Are For

One of the things that I most love about Justin is his loyalty to his friends and family. His best friend has been his friend since little league and is now his business partner. His other close friend he has known since elementary school and was his roommate for a while in college. He would do anything he could for them, and they would do the same for him.

Due to his insanely busy work schedule, family, and life, he hasn't had much of an opportunity to develop more close friendships. He has another friend- my friend's husband. They get along fine, and have a good time when we get together and hang out. He definitely has more aquaintances than friends, though.

We joined a couple's small group through our church. There are a few other men his age in the group and they seem to be interested in the same stuff- i.e. sports. After meeting everyone, I started thinking about how cool it would be, if he made a few more friends. Apparently, he was thinking along the same lines. I guess.

"So. . .I had a random thought today."

"Really, what's that?" Do I really want to know?

"I might be up to 4 pall bearers, soon." Um, okay- what am I supposed to say?

"That's right. You just need 2 more friends and you're all set. I guess we could ask 2 of my brother in laws, your choice. Or your brother. It's good to have some back-ups, you know."

"Can you ask family?" Well, big shot- you're running low on friends, who else are we gonna ask?

"How should I know? We could ask your niece's boyfriend. Even though we've never met him and we don't really like her. If I had to be in her wedding, he can be in your funeral."

Yep, he needs more friends.

Adult Supervision Required

I offered to babysit Maddie's best friend, Ethan, next weekend so that his parents could go out and have some alone time. I haven't watched him in a long time, and the kids always have a crazy good time. Hhhhmmmm. I wonder why it's been that long? And, why is she taking so long to answer? Oh. Crap. She. Remembers.

Last Spring, the playgroup that I belonged to decided to meet at the zoo. I invited Ethan to come along. Everything was going great. It was a beautiful day, the animals were active, and all the children were getting along fabulously.

After looking at the animals, we went to the playground. There is an enclosed jumpy area for the smaller children to play in. As always, we took off all of their shoes and let them run around. The moms were all talking about different things. No big deal.

I glanced up and saw Maddie spit on a boy. The only word to describe the emotion I felt is livid. I was livid. I told her to apologise. She wouldn't do it. Is "livider" a word? I took her by the hand and marched her outside of the play area. I swatted her bottom and explained what she did wrong.

We went back to the play area and I told her that she could continue playing after she apologised to the little boy. As she was sitting there, sulking, I walked over to the other moms. I rolled my eyes, and shrugged. Where's Ethan?

I look up and see one of the kids in our playgroup run by- outside of the gazebo area. What the. . . ?

"WHERE IS ETHAN?! He. Was. Just. Here. How did he get out? I was watching them the whole freakin' time. How am I going to tell my friend that I lost her kid? Oh crap oh crap oh crap. I lost a kid. At the zoo."

I try running out, but I don't have shoes on, the bouncy mat was no longer any fun, and I was trying to keep my eye on Maddie, so that I wouldn't have to say that I lost TWO kids at the zoo.

Ethan was chasing the other girl in our playgroup- in the actual playground, away from anyone in our group. Apparently, while I was having my "talk" with Maddie, a few of them escaped the super safe, enclosed area. And wouldya look at that- Ethan had a goose egg knot on his forehead. He told me that it didn't hurt, and I never really found out how it happened.

When his mom picked him up that day, the first thing she noticed was, obviously, the bruise on his head. "Oh wow! What happened to you?" she asked. Not wanting it to sound worse than it was, I answered for him. "I'm not really sure how it happened, exactly, but I think he hit it on the slide, when I los-, um, couldn't find him. But, um, he says it doesn't hurt. Right, Ethan? Tell her it doesn't hurt. Tell her."

He hasn't been back to the zoo with us. In fact, I don't think I've babysat him, alone and without another adult present, since.

LouLou, go to dinner with your man. Justin will be with me the whole time. I promise.

Happy Birthday To Me!!

So. . . what do you think? You like? I LOVE IT! And I give all the credit to Judith Shakes designs. She totally rocks! I found her through several of my bloggy friends. It seems that I was the one with the most boring template. And, that's not what I was going for. I wanted something fun and quirky, and she made it happen.

My birthday couldn't have been better. It involved family, friends, and lots and lots of food. All of my favorite things.

I just spent an hour at the gym. Why? Tiramisu, cookies, lasagna, chicken parmesan, bbq, potato soup, french fries, and to top off the weekend- Kahlua Cocoa Coffee Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory. The entire slice. OMG.

I've been 30 one day. So far, so good. Make that great.

Frenemy #1 Jose Cuervo

Today's big question was "So, what did you do last night?" My answer was typically boring. I worked until 10, then went home and watched Gray's Anatomy Season 3. And, I'm so okay with that. You see, I've had my share of wild and crazy New Year's Eves.

It was 1999. Y2K. I was 21 and ready to par-tay. This was pre- Justin and definitely pre-Maddie. This was also pre- common sense.

Mom, you may not want to read the rest of this. But, if you do, please stop reading, please stop reading you've been warned.

I lived in a small college town, about 45 minutes away from Nashville. My roommate and I decided to go into Nashville, to party at a club. The biggest benefit was that my other good friend worked there, and everything was free. Drinks included.

Soon after arriving at the club, I met my friend for the night. Jose Cuervo. That's right. Tequila. Lots of tequila. Shots.

The rest of the night is somewhat of a blur. I remember dancing, drinking, dancing, nothing happened Y2K wise on the East Coast- everything's gonna be all right, more drinking. And then we went and stayed at another friend's house.

The next morning/afternoon, when we woke up, I had some fuzzy flashbacks. Surely that didn't happen. I couldn't have been that bad off. My friend assured me it did, and I was.

Apparently, I had been so bad off, I couldn't walk to the parking garage. So, my best friend (pretty sober) and the friend (really sober) we were staying with that night, went to get the truck. They left me in front of the bar, with a cell phone, and told me to wait for them to pick me up. Well, what do you think happens when you tell a drunk girl to wait for you? That's right, she starts walking.

I walked/stumbled about 5 blocks. Didn't have a clue as to where I was. So, I did what any crazy, stupid- drunk girl would do. I told random strangers that I was homeless. I don't know why I did it. Or why anyone would believe me, but I made 8 dollars.

Obviously, my friends couldn't find me when they made it back to the bar. So they called the cell phone that I had in my purse. I was trying to convince a woman that I was homeless (you know, because all homeless women reek of tequila, wear heels, and carry cell phones), when the phone rang. She answered it for me and told them where to find me. I guess she never really believed that I was homeless.

This is a story has been told and retold many times. It's always funny to hear it from my friend's perspective, but, quite frankly, it scares me to death, to think of how stupid I was. I was extremely lucky that night. And for the rest of the year, actually. That's the year I met Justin.

And decided that I never wanted another shot of Jose Cuervo.

The Third Time Really Is A Charm

I'm always looking for fun, inexpensive things to do with Maddie. Last year, we went to a Christmas play, designed for children and I was so impressed with it, I planned on making it a yearly event. So, this past Friday, Justin, Maddie, and I met my friend and her twin granddaughters at the same place, hoping it would be as good as it was last year.


I honestly can't tell you what the whole thing was about. Santa, some elves, and Frosty melting- I think. The acting was worse than last year, and the storyline was ridiculous. At one time, I thought Al Gore was going to pop out of the Frosty costume and blame all the 3 and 4 year olds for global warming and causing Frosty to melt. But the kids loved it.


We suffered, I mean, sat through the play, sang the songs, and laughed with the kids at all the right times. And looking back on it, there were some really fun moments that made it all worth it.


The first great moment was when Maddie actually sat in Santa's lap. She didn't think twice about it, once she saw her friends do it. And even smiled her real smile. She usually has this crazy "I need to be on the toilet" smile, any time a camera is near.




But, the real highlight to this outing was when my friend told Frosty his mouth looked like a giant sperm.

Future Rehearsal Dinner Pictures

Just a single gal- out for a ride

Scoot over, I'm a better driver.

I think I love you!!

See Ya!!!

They Froze The Grinch

How the Grinch Stole Christmas. In ice. Awesome. Let's go.

"Mommy what's the Grinch?"

"It was my all time favorite Christmas book when I was a little girl."

"What's it about?"

"Well, there's this green thing, called the Grinch. He, um, didn't like Christmas and stole everyone's presents. I think he had a dog that he dressed like a reindeer. Um, some kid stopped him or something like that, and everyone got their presents back. You'll love it."

Okay- so it's been a long time since I've read the book, or watched the movie. But, I knew the basic premise of it. Give me a break.

We went with our friends and their little boy. We bundled into our (mandatory for liability reasons) parkas and walked into the wonderful world of Dr. Suess. Frozen.

9 degrees at all times frozen. Freakin' cold frozen. Can't feel your fingers, toes, or ears frozen. 2 million pounds of ice, carved for your viewing pleasure or torture, depending on how long you stay and how many pictures you force your child to pose for, knowing that she's freezing her little tush off, frozen. After 30 minutes, we were all frozen.

It really was very cool (pun intended), and I'll probably go back. Someday. As soon as I thaw out.