Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Music To My Ears

McDonald's is trying to ruin the vow I made as an angst ridden teenager. The first time I saw the commercial in the '90s, I swore my child would never have a certain item and now McDonald's is GIVING it away in their Happy Meals.

Kidz Bop Vol 635

When I discovered the cd squeezed between her chicken nuggets and apples, I cringed. And then I did what every sane parent would do.

I tried to hide it.

But apparently, all 5 year olds instictively know to look under the picnic table at a public park.

So, I braced myself. And put it in the cd player on the way home. She listened. She bobbed her head. She asked me if I would take her to "Funkytown" (which I will admit to cranking the volume waaaay up.)

And then. . . just when I thought she was going to ask me to buy the previous 634 volumes of Kidz Bop. . .

She asked me to put Johnny Cash back in the cd player.

I love that girl.

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Monday, May 11, 2009

The Break-Up

To Whom It May Concern at Private Academy:
Re: Maddie

My daughter, Maddie, has been enrolled in your program for the last two years. Her teachers have done a wonderful job and I truly appreciate all of their hard work.

However, I regret to inform you that she will not be enrolled in Private Academy next year.

It's nothing personal. Well, it kinda is. You see, you keep raising your tuition. And were Maddie to attend Kindergarten next year, it would cost almost as much as our mortgage is each month. And, well, I really want to keep our home.

I'll be honest with you. We met someone new. It's a school less than 10 minutes from our home. It has won the same awards you have and has also gained national recognition. And while I know this word is taboo in the private school realm, I must say it. It's a public school.

There. It's out there. My child is going public. Please don't treat her differently during these last few days.

Can we still be friends? She's zoned for a terrible high school. Maybe I'll give you a call in 8 or 9 years.

Ta-ta for now!!

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Monday, May 4, 2009

Another Failed Attempt

We sat down to eat dinner with my parents. I had made potato soup with French bread.

I explained to Maddie that we were going to follow her doctor's advice about her pickiness. Dr. Hyperenoughtobefiveherself told us that the "one bite, no thank you" rule works well.

Basically, Maddie has to eat one bite of whatever it is that she doesn't want and if she doesn't like it, fine. She can eat something else.

Justin had prepared her every night meal of mashed potatoes. Beside them I placed a small bowl with a tiny amount of potato soup.

Maddie gobbled up her mashed potatoes. Then I told her that she still needed to eat a bite of potato soup.

She smelled of it. And refused.

I told her to eat it.

She took the smallest bite possible. And made a face.

And then that look came upon her face. She better not. Oh crap. She's really about to do what I think she's about to do. Nnnnnnoooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She did it. She vomited at the table. Over a teensy bite of soup, which everyone else seemed to think tasted pretty good.

I think the doctor forgot to tell me one important rule. Only attempt this on an empty stomach.

Not after eating an entire bowl of mashed potatoes.

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