Wednesday, April 23, 2008

What Are They Teaching Her?

Everything was going great. It was Maddie's check up yes, I know 4 months late, and the doctor was on time, no shots were needed, everything was just peachy keen in out little part of the world.

Then, the doctor said the phrase I was dreading.

"We just need a urine sample. Maddie, you go potty and your mommy will catch it, okay?"

We tried this at last year's appointment. It didn't happen. Tears happened, pee in the cup, however, did not.

I was willing to give it a shot, so off we went.

She tried. She really did. But there just was no action. After several minutes of being on my knees in the bathroom, I knew I needed to kick start the process.

"Maddie, hop off. I need to go. Just stand right there while I go pee pee." If I hear someone else peeing, I automatically have to go. I hoped it was going to work.

I was doing my thing, and Maddie interrupted me,

"Mommy, STOP!" I stopped.

"Do you have to go, now?"

"No. How about we put your pee pee in the cup and tell the doctor it's mine."

Who is this child?

She is four and already knows the concept of passing a drug test. But, I know the signs. She hasn't been withdrawn, no bloodshot eyes, no extreme munchies, and she really hasn't been out of my sight for extended periods of time.

Wait. Extended care. While I'm at work.

It's gotta be the day care. I knew I shouldn't have enrolled her in it. Do we really know these kids? Who are her friends? There's no telling what they've taught her.

I'm doomed.

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14 comments:

The Guider said...

You made me laugh. I wanted to say that in a wittier way but failed!

MommyTime said...

I'm cracking up over here. She's verrrry smart, that one.

Wendi said...

You. Are. Hilarious.
Thanks for the laughs.

Bren said...

OMG, that is so funny!

noble pig said...

You're right, these are the kids who pee in their parent's drug test cups...GET HER OUT OF THERE!

Irene said...

Hey you never know, kids these days!

Too funny...

Kellan said...

Oh, you are crazy and that daughter of yours is too cute!

Have a good weekend- Kellan

Rachel said...

That is too cute! Why exactly does she have to pee in a cup?
Brilliant little monster you have there darlin'.

Scarlet O'Kara said...

OMG! The cracked me up!

cyndy said...

Those damned extended cares! Cesspools, I tell ya!
I used to have the same battles with The Princess when she had chronic UTI's. Soooo glad that's over (crossing fingers).

Jonny's Mommy said...

Waaawwaa! Hilarious! Oh my gosh ..your blog is sooo funny!

Kimmylyn said...

Ba ha hahahahah HYSTERICAL!!!!

Amy said...

Oh my goodness, that is HILARIOUS!

Suburban Turmoil said...

My doctor never does urine samples... I wonder why?

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