What's That Smell?

Maddie and I were walking on the sidewalk, headed towards the doors of her school. There were about 5 or 6 other moms doing the same thing. No one was really talking; everyone was pretty much in their own little world.

We passed the flower beds, recently filled with mulch. The really smelly kind. Maddie grabbed her nose, and suddenly the silence was broken.

"Sshhoooooowwieeee! Yuck!" Moms turned to look. Apparently there was a code of silence going on, that I didn't know about.

"Yep, that mulch smells pretty bad, doesn't it?" Look, I know I don't fit in with any of you fashionistas, especially today, but I do like to actually talk to my child.

"Guess why. Cause it's made with poopie. Really, really stinky poop. That's why. Poop makes flowers grow." Hey now, I heard that snicker. Mind your own poop, why don'tcha?

"No. I'm pretty sure it's not." Please stop talking about poop. No- please stop talking about poop in front of these other moms, who I'm sure have never pooped in their perfect lives.

"What is it then?" Why me?

"Umm, I'm not really sure. Probably leaves and dirt and mulch stuff." Just drop this poopie conversation. Please.

"Well- Daddy told me it was made of poop. It stinks like poop. It. Is. Poop." Hhmmm, who do I love more, right now? The child who thinks mulch is made of poop and is declaring her knowledge to the world, or her daddy who told her that?

Note to self: When your child acknowledges that something smells bad, don't comment on it.

Reason: POOP HAPPENS.