Monday, December 17, 2007

Portly Chocolate Pie

When Justin and I argue, it usually goes something like this:
Him: "Blah,blah,yadda,yadda."
Me: "Whatever. You're an idiot."
Him:"Well, you blahblahblahblah."
Me:"You're crazy. You don't know what the crap you're talking about."

And this could go on forever. Neither of us meaning any harm, just arguing for the sake of it.I can count on one hand how many real fights Justin and I have ever had. I can probably tell you about each and every one of them and who won. Over the span of seven years, that's not too bad. But there are 2 arguments that have yet to be resolved.

The first one is a recurring one. And it flares up almost any time chocolate pie is involved. You see, Justin loves chocolate pie. And he never learned how to share. Not even one little bite. The first time this argument happened, we were only dating. It was one of the first times I had ever been around his parents and we were at lunch. He ordered a slice of pie. I asked him for a bite. He. Wouldn't. Give. Me. One.

His theory is that I could just order my own slice. I only wanted a bite. It would be wasteful for me to order a whole piece of pie, if I didn't want the whole thing. He claims he would have finished both of them. Whatever. My mom now cooks him his very own chocolate pie, almost every time we visit. Spoiled much?

The other argument, that neither will concede, happened recently. I needed a new work shirt. I usually get a cheap men's white button up, size small. Wal-Mart was out, so I decided to go to the boys section. Later that night:

"I got a new work shirt. They didn't have any in the men's section, so I got it in the little boys' section."

"Oh, did you have to get portly?"

That's something you just don't say to a woman. No matter what size they may be. His explanation for his choice of words was that a portly boy was the same size as a small adult.

No. Just. No. Please add portly, husky, and juicy to your list of forbidden words, when talking to or about me. Thanks.

I tried to share both sides of the arguments with you. What do you think? Am I right? yes Or is he? not a chance Please be honest in your comments. I promise I won't hold it against you, if you think I'm wrong. I'm not, by the way

So, come on. Help us out. We really need to know who the bigger idiot is.

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shay said...

um...portly??!! NOT on your life do you ever ask a woman that! What is he thinking?! CRAZY.

And on the sharing thing, I don't understand this either. I mean, it's only one bite! Weird guys and their not sharing of food:)

All this is to say...yup you're right!
ps: nice to "meet" you. I found you through another blogger.

Rachel said...


This is when it's acceptable to smack the husband on the head and you experience a 'headache' for a week or so.

Irene said...

Yeah, portly wouldn't cut it here. But at 5' 10", there is no way a could ever fit into a boy's shirt!

I also had to laugh about the chocolate pie. My husband also can be so stingy with food or drinks. If I take a sip of his Pepsi or milk, he gets all in huff and tells me to just get my own. I tell him he can get more, I just wanted a sip, but he still is upset that he has to actually get up off his butt to get more. Now you are making me think his sharing problem is actually a "guy" thing.

jenipooh92802 said...

Well, Mom's chocolate pies are the best and frankly I wouldn't share either. I wish I could get my own chocolate pie :( HA

On the other hand, I wish I could fit into a little boys shirt, they could call me anything they want, just as long as I fit in it.

Although he shouldn't of said "portly"

I will have to agree with Justin--sorry Chels

Kellan said...

Tee Hee - portly - sorry, but it made me laugh and ... he should not have said it. But, tee hee - it is a little funny. Take care. Kellan

Amy said...

Any woman who can fit into a boys shirt is not "Portly" and the word "Portly" should never be used in her presence. Sorry, Mr PB&J, I have to side with the Missus on this one.

And a whole pie?!? Are you serious!

kimmie said...

WHAT????? Portly,I dare say, is what he will be 20 years from now after eating a whole pie that your mom makes for him.

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