The Stalker

I'm being stalked. It started about a month ago. . .

I was on the treadmill, running and minding my own business. A little, old Asian lady got on the treadmill beside me and started walking. A few minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. In her broken English, she said, "You run faster, but I do more sit-ups." I look at her, Doesn't she know that I don't talk to people at the gym? I listen. When headphones are in, conversation is o-u-t. "Really, that's great." I respond and change the channels, so it is clear that I don't want to talk.

About an hour later, I see her in the ab room. I start doing my crunches and she plops down beside me. "You did 25, watch me- I do 30." I'm stuck. What could I do? So I watch her and hope that I never see her at the gym again.

But, I do. I see her almost every time I go. And she follows me. If I'm doing bicep curls, she meanders over and shows me how many she can do. She challenged me to see who could do more lunges. I tried to tell her that I have a set program, and I don't like to deviate from it. She didn't really care. So, I added more weight to my reps, hoping she would give up and find someone else to harrass. That didn't work.

As a result, my arms and legs are toned a little more, because I just can't let a woman that is 20 years my senior, and wears a leotard to work out in, beat me.

So, I'm trying a new strategy, to outwit my stalker. For the last week, I've kept track of when she likes to go to the gym. I've noticed what classes she likes to go to, and I try to get my workout done, while she is in a class. I know which cardio machines she likes, and doesn't like, and plan accordingly. I know she does her free weights and abs after cardio. I know that on Tuesdays she wears a really ugly red headband with purple tights and a t-shirt.

Who's the stalker, now?