Thursday, February 7, 2008

Nothing Else Matters

Do you ever feel like you just don't stack up? As a mom? Or a wife? No? I guess I'm the only one, then.

Most of the time, I think that I don't have a clue about being a parent. I try, I really do, but mostly, I find myself coming up short on the "good mommy ladder".

Some days, Maddie doesn't change out of her pajamas. Neither do I. Most meals are eaten in front of the tv. And those meals are usually peanut butter and jelly stirred in a bowl. While she is watching a movie, I'm napping. One of my proudest parenting moments was when she learned how to make a pot of coffee.

I do have some redeeming parenting skills, but I'll save those for a short post, later.

Yesterday, while I was on the computer, Maddie was playing quietly with her princess dolls.

"Mommy?"

"Mommy?"

"MOMMY!?"

"What is it, Maddie?" I didn't even look up from the screen. Bad mommy.

"Nothing. I'm just really happy that you are my mommy." My head hangs in shame.

I turned off the computer, got in the floor and started playing with her and her dolls. How I feel about my parenting skills ceased to matter. If she likes the way I do it, I guess it's okay. Right? The way I see it, she has no clue about how inadequate I really am.

And, I want to keep it that way. For as long as I possibly can.

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11 comments:

Amy said...

Oh that's so sweet!! And truthfully I think that's how most of us operate :)

Irene said...

Oh, I feel the same way so many times! This computer is addicting. I have cut back a bit, but probably should a lot more.

Don't feel too bad.

lattemommy said...

Isn't it amazing how they can say such a sweet, innocent thing and you feel so very, very guilty? My Princess has that move down to a T.

Don't worry about your parenting skills - sounds like you're no worse than the rest of us!

Chris said...

At least you see your child! My poor boy goes to daycare all day while mommy and daddy both work. Then when he gets home, all he wants is his mommy who consequently has to go to another job that evening! We each have our own UNIQUE parenting skills! Yours are GREAT!!!

kimmie said...

Okay, lets get back to that lesson on counting our blessings.
#1. you get to stay at home all day
#2. your daughter is healthy
#3. you are healthy
#4. your daughter is amazing
#5. you get along with your husband.
#6. etc.
#7. etc.
#8. etc.

I love you dear sister, and your motherhood skills are not lacking anywhere!! I promise.

Jenni said...

Reminds me of a few months back when I was getting the "Mommy, mommy, mommy" while I was on the computer. After a few, "Just a minutes", I finally let loose with the "WHAAAAAAAAATTTT?" only to hear, "Did I tell you I love you today?"

Some days we sure don't deserve them.

Amy said...

Yep, I've done it too.

We can always see ways in which we can be better parents, but maybe we are great parents just the way we are.
It is especially rewarding when they think we are wonderful just the way we are.

Kellan said...

I just need you to know that it gets better - it does. There is so much stress when you are young mother - to feel like you are the "BEST" - when you finally realize that is never going to happen - and just settle in with all that is good and accept the bad - it works out - it does. You are a good mom - your daughter told you so!! Take care - Kellan

FUN-ky Mama said...

I think we've all had moments like that.......well, I know I have anyway!
I need one of those days where we stay in PJs all day. That sounds wonderful right now!

Suburban Turmoil said...

This post made me smile because you are like the best mom I know. I'm glad to know that you, too, leave Maddie in her PJs all day sometimes!

Sarah said...

You are a very good mommy and a very good aunt!!!
If you live that way you know Maddie loves you and everbody else does. It is just a blessing to have all the people that love you!!

(like me your niece)

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