Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Stalker

I'm being stalked. It started about a month ago. . .

I was on the treadmill, running and minding my own business. A little, old Asian lady got on the treadmill beside me and started walking. A few minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. In her broken English, she said, "You run faster, but I do more sit-ups." I look at her, Doesn't she know that I don't talk to people at the gym? I listen. When headphones are in, conversation is o-u-t. "Really, that's great." I respond and change the channels, so it is clear that I don't want to talk.

About an hour later, I see her in the ab room. I start doing my crunches and she plops down beside me. "You did 25, watch me- I do 30." I'm stuck. What could I do? So I watch her and hope that I never see her at the gym again.

But, I do. I see her almost every time I go. And she follows me. If I'm doing bicep curls, she meanders over and shows me how many she can do. She challenged me to see who could do more lunges. I tried to tell her that I have a set program, and I don't like to deviate from it. She didn't really care. So, I added more weight to my reps, hoping she would give up and find someone else to harrass. That didn't work.

As a result, my arms and legs are toned a little more, because I just can't let a woman that is 20 years my senior, and wears a leotard to work out in, beat me.

So, I'm trying a new strategy, to outwit my stalker. For the last week, I've kept track of when she likes to go to the gym. I've noticed what classes she likes to go to, and I try to get my workout done, while she is in a class. I know which cardio machines she likes, and doesn't like, and plan accordingly. I know she does her free weights and abs after cardio. I know that on Tuesdays she wears a really ugly red headband with purple tights and a t-shirt.

Who's the stalker, now?

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15 comments:

Irene said...

That lady would freak me out. If not freak me out, she would definitely drive me crazy. I am so like you, I go to the gym to work out and listen to my iPod. I say hi to a few people, but that is it. No social scene for me.

Yeah, I would be stalking her out too in order to find out how to avoid her! Yikes!

Sniz said...

No way!!! This is so creepy! I can see getting stalked by a creepy old guy, but a little old Asian lady? That's too bizarre to make up! I'm so glad you blogged about this. I agree with your first commenter. Yikes!

Anonymous said...

Just suppose you are the only person that "older" lady has to talk to all...day....long.....
I wouldn't be freaked out but to try to make that "her best day ever" as you blogged about another day. Isn't that what it's all about???

Sarah said...

That would just make me feel very acward. Now how old did you say she was? What about the best day ever? Did you have a good day with a lady stalking you?

pb&j in a bowl said...

Anonymous- By learning her schedule, and avoiding her, I am making it my "best day ever." She talks to everyone there- not just me. And it's not just talking to me, that I can handle- it's challenging me to feats of strength, which I. Don't. Want.

Sarah- I would say that she's around 50 or so, and as for my best day- see above. Love ya

Sassy said...

WHAAAAHAAA, That is hilarious!

OHmommy said...

I am laughing with you... you are being stalked by a creepy badly dressed 50 year old woman. So, sorry! LOL. It could be worst, yes?

Jenni said...

I can totally picture her in her leotard. But she sounds harmless, just annoying.

Amy said...

Oh man, that is scary and FUNNY!! Next time she gets too close, you could always knock her in the head with a dumbbell!

Kellan said...

How funny - I knew that was where that was going - stalking minds must think alike!! I soooooo don't like to be bothered - when I don't want to be bothered. Have a good V-Day and good luck avoiding your stalker. See ya. Kellan

Rachel said...

That's just creepy.
I despise when people talk to me at the gym, when I'm getting a pedicure/manicure or ... nope that's about it. THose are two times to leave people alone!
Weird little lady.
Her stalking is creepy sounding, yours sounds like defensive action.
Maybe she's lonely? I don't know. I think avoidance is best. There are others there, I'm sure, that she can find to harass.
That's sad and creepy all at once.
You've been put back on the blogroll, sorry about the temporary drop! It took me forever to get it all figured out!!!!!!!!

Amy said...

I would DIE.
Can you tell her to Go Away!
LOL
I am a very private, don't mess with me person at the gym. Anywhere else, I will strike up a conversation with you. Not. At. The. Gym.

Suburban Turmoil said...

You're on a roll. All your blog posts lately are hilarious! This one cracked me up. I want pictures!

Suburban Turmoil said...

Hey, is that your first anonymous drive by? Do you think they came here from my site???! ;)

Karen said...

Yikes! A gym stalker would make me not want to go. Good for you for turning the tables!

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