My Sincere Gratitude

Since I work in a restaurant, Valentine's Day is one of the several holidays that I am required to work. And, since I think it is a made-up, stupid holiday, that forces couples to spend money on unnecessary things, I don't mind. Let them spend their money- tipping me.

And so, tonight, since I am too keyed up to go to bed, I am writing some thank-you notes to the people that made my night a success.

To the man who removed his screaming child from the table, thank you. The other patrons didn't want to hear him and this, in effect, made everyone happier. Thank you, also, for telling your wife as you were leaving, that you would be getting a babysitter next time.

To the lady who was giving a toast to her man, thank you. Thank you for not causing a scene when he, in the middle of your toast, asked for more ranch dressing. And, to the man, thank you for making me appreciate the allure of ranch.

Thank you to the 90ish couple that held hands. It made my night, seeing you still in love. And thank you for leaving waaaay before me, so I didn't have to be on the road while you were driving home.

I would also like to thank the Nashville Metro Transit Authority for putting a bus stop in front of the restaurant. It sure helps with our clientele. It also helps knowing that they are eating on a schedule, and we can hurry them out.

Thank you all of the customers who believe that nothing says romance like some Red Lobster garlic biscuits.

And, last, but definitely not least, to the little busser girl with bright blue eye shadow, thank you for stealing my last table's tip. I'm thankful because now, I know to keep an eye on you and I have told all of the other servers to do the same. I realize that you probably stole someone's social security card number, in order to get this job, but please, don't touch my money. We are on to you. Short translation: No robe mi dinero otra vez. Got it?