Tuesday, September 2, 2008

My Nightmares Include Mr. Licorice

I have a confession to make. One that may cause you to change your opinion of me- forever. But, I need to do it.

Give me a minute to decide how I need to say this.

Okay- deep breath.

Icheatatcandyland.

There- I said it. I. Cheat. At. Candyland.

Don't get me wrong. I don't cheat to win. I don't cheat to let Maddie win. I cheat so the stupid game will be over as quickly as I can manage it. I've got it down to a science.

I put all of the candy cards as close to the front of the deck as possible. That way, there is no chance of playing for 30 minutes, one of us making it 3 blocks away from winning, only to get that stupid Mr. Mint card and have to go all the way back. Get all of them over with, and bada-bing, bada- boom the entire game is over in 15 minutes or less.

If you also move most of the double color cards to the front, you can cut that time in half. You can play more than one game in the same amount of time, and your child is none the wiser. It's pure genius.

Once I figured out the finer points of cutting down the time and unexplained rage towards a gumdrop creature, I confessed my ways to Justin. I thought he would be proud of me. I imagined him asking me to teach him. I was wrong.

He couldn't believe I would cheat while playing a game with Maddie. He wouldn't listen about why I was doing it. He didn't care that it wasn't cheating so a particular person would win. I don't care about the winning.

It's the preserving of my sanity that I care about. And if I have to cheat to do it, I will.

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10 comments:

Kellan said...

You are not alone - icheatatcandylandtoo! And all other games I can get away with - tee hee!

Take care - Kellan

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

At least you play games with her! You get points for that.

kristine said...

I feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only won who ants that game to go a lil faster.We only play w/ the double color cards.When, don't ever buy shutes & ladders, there was no way to speed it up.So I'm forced to hide it in the guest room.With all of the toys & games that are forced to hide in shame until I'm ready to sell them @ a garage sale :)

kimmie said...

I'ts ok. I usedtocheatatcandylandtoo. And we used to have a rule that you HAD to buy property playing Monopoly, that way, everyone ran out of money faster. The only game I haven't ever cheated on or will ever cheat on is UNO. Love it!! I still love you, cheater ;)

texasholly said...

GENIUS.

Seriously.

I hope your next post can cover the nuances of cheating at Chutes and Ladders because I am about to hang myself from the playroom ceiling fan...HURRY.

Karen said...

When you find out how to cheat at Uno let me know.

Carrie Mobley said...

My gosh, you are so funny. My kids are trying to figure out why I'm laughing so hard right now. And your friends are funny too. I'm Charisse's friend, Carrie. Thanks for the good ab workout.

MommyTime said...

I cheat at Candyland all the time. That is the most mind-numbingly boring game on the planet for anyone over the age of five, and there is NOTHING worse than being all the way up around Peppermint Princess land and being sent all the way back to the stupid peanut. I don't cheat to win or to let the kids win; I just cheat to get the darn game over too. Mostly, I frontload the double color cards too. Easy peasy. Let's move on to something fun, now, like Dinosaur Snap. :)

Wendi said...

You. are. hilarious.

Sleep well tonight friend knowing that you are not alone!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Right there with you sista! I skip pages in books too.

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