Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It's Not You, It's Me

I see him coming towards me with determination in his eyes. I try to walk away and avoid him at all costs, but it is no use. He follows me.

I know what is coming. I dread what is coming. But there is no stopping a determined hugger.

I hug my family. I hug my close friends. I hug people I haven't seen in a long time or if something bad has happened.

I'm not a fan of hugging people that I work with. In fact, I'm just not a touch-feely type of person. And I don't see anything wrong with that.

I was talking to my friend about it, and she pointed out that Maddie is the exact same way. If Maddie doesn't want to hug someone, there is no way you can make her. I remember one of the first times we met a neighbor and her daughter. Her daughter tried to give Maddie a hug and Maddie actually looked like she was in pain. That's how badly she didn't want to give a hug.

The "hugger" at my work actually acts offended when I don't respond with a hug. He condescendingly asked if I ever hug my daughter.

It bothered me a lot that he said that.

Of course I hug Maddie. In fact, at 6 a.m. she crawls in bed with me. We snuggle. If we are watching tv, I'm usually holding her which, to me, is just like a hug. I hug her before I take her to school. I hug her when I pick her up. I hug her when she draws a picture. We love to hug each other.

Add my affectionate husband and hairless dog to the picture and I'm hugging all freakin' day long.

And I think that's why Maddie and I aren't big on hugging people we aren't that close to.

By the end of the day, we are hugged out.

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Kellan said...

This was such a cute post - I loved, "Add my affectionate husband and hairless dog to the picture and I'm hugging all freakin' day long. " - Ha! I have a friend that is not a hugger and my girls are such huggers - they are always invading her space - it's become quite the joke between all of us. I enjoyed this post!

Take care - Kellan

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I'm a selective hugger, too. My inlaws are huggers and kissers and it makes me uncomfortable, but I kiss and hug my kids & hubby all day long!

Nissa said...

I think that guy's a wierdo. I'm okay with hugging a friend at work- when there's something to hug about, like in congratulations or comforting. That's it. I think guys who want hugs all the time are usually stalkers (in my experience).

Margaret said...

I am the same way. I love to hug my kids and my hubby, but not people I don't know that well. When my husband and I first got together (I was only 15) his family started hugging me like the second time we met. It was a little weird to me. I also used to do home health work. The people I took care of would hug me all the time.

Sheri and George said...

I am not a random hugger either,I like to chose the people I hug. Tell this guy to back off and give you your space. The workplace in no place for hugging

Ree said...

I understand. I am a hugger - but I always ask... ;-)

I'm just uncomfortable hugging someone who is much shorter than me - I feel like they're expecting me to pick them up! And I'm 5'11" in my usual heels, so you can imagine...


Amy said...

You don't need to make excuses for not hugging this man. It is completely inappropriate for him to demand it and I am shocked that he would ask if you hug your daughter. Completely jaw dropped to my keyboard shocked!

kimmie said...

Back off bud...!

I am totally not a hugger either. I used to really want to be, Chris's family is,and I tried to be, but I almost get claustrophobic with people I don't feel comfortable with. Shake my hand, touch my shoulder, pat my back, but please don't hug. I'm short and it is uncomfortable for me, because most of the time, I have to smell their armpits. (Except for you my dear sister) There is a time and a place for hugging, and work is usually not it.

Patricia said...

I am not much of a hugger either. My son has Asperger's Syndrome and he doesn't like to be touched so in his case, he'll ask me if I want a hug (when he wants one). My daughter is now a teenager and doesn't let anyone hug her...which upsets her father. One thing that really bothers me is when people poke me in the arm. I'm super sensitive to being poked there and I get cranky in 1 split second.

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