Thursday, July 10, 2008

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I approached the table of 3. 2 men, 1 woman. Old- very old people. Hhhmmmm- this should be interesting. Or not. At this job, you just never know.

I began my spiel- fresh fish, special, etc.

I was rudely interrupted by the woman's voice that told me she has smoked heavily for the last 50+ years.

"I wanna Bloody Mary. With Ketel 1."

Her husband looked at me and asked if it costs extra. I explained that it was about a dollar more.

He forbade her to get it and started pitching a fit that could top any toddlers'. Dude, it's a freakin' dollar. Chillax.

She looked me straight in the eyes and ordered me to get her drink. Just the way she ordered it. Okay- why don't you just go out, smoke a cig and come back when you can use your manners? You know- "please", "thank you" It works.

Her husband huffed and puffed. "Well- just bring me a Bloody Mary, but make mine with the cheap stuff." Wow- what a guy. The sacrifices this man must have made. . .

I brought them their drinks and sat them in front of the correct person. Her's with the good stuff, his with the cheap junk.

She never looked up. Her eyes were glued to the menu.

Her husband switched their drinks. Then had the nerve to wink at me.

She never knew.

And since I didn't know who was controlling the tip, I didn't feel the need to tell.

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Rachel said...

Oh Chelsea, I've been there. Too many times and too many years. I have so been there.
Have you ever read. ?
You should. It makes me so happy.
You can submit your stories, commiserate with others and it's just fabulous. You could spend hours on there.
I miss seeing you around.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

bahahaha! That is too danged funny. Serves her right!

Nicole said...

Wonder if he would have ordered a different drink if she had ordered the cheap one? Or if he just sucked it up so and drank a bloody mary just so she would have to drink the cheap stuff. At least he had a sense of humor about it and winked at you... shows that he probably just likes picking on her.

noble pig said...

OMG that's just hysterical...ya know's just ethanol...only true, true trained folks can taste the difference.

Jonny's Mommy said...

Very funny. And oooh...thought my job sucked. Wow.

Kimmylyn said...

Ugh.. sometimes people are the absolute worst..but boy does this make for great blog fodder.. :)

Anonymous said...

Holy Smokes! That is freakin' hysterical! How did you keep from dying?! I would imagine you and the rest of the waitstaff shared quite the laugh!

Tara R. said...

That is freakin' hilarious! I bet he does that sort of thing to her all the time. No wonder she's so cranky.

Wendi said...

You. are. hilarious.

Glad your customers provide you such good blog fodder.

Amy said...

LOVE this story! Too funny!

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