Mission Not Accomplished

"Mommy, do you want to be in my secret club?" This is what I get for only having an only child.

"Sure."

"Okay- I'll tell you the secret code and you can't tell anyone. Not even Daddy. Cuz this is a girls only club. No boys allowed." Wow. Secret codes and everything.

"No problem."

"Now- Club Member Mommy, are you ready for your first mission?" There's a mission? Can't I just say the code and make some cookies or something?

"Yes, I'm ready." I hope.

"Go outside and build me a treehouse." ummmm

"I think we should ask Daddy to be in this club."

Stop The Presses!!

"IT'S NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACLE. FROM GOD.", Nashville woman claims.

Coopertown, Tennessee- When Chelsea walked into her house, after a long day working both jobs, she sensed something was different. Not quite knowing what it was, she walked through each room and closet until she figured out what it was. And when she figured it out, she immediately thanked God. "It's nothing short of a miracle. From God. I just couldn't believe it until I walked into that room, and the proof was right there in front of me."
Chelsea explained that in the nine years she and her husband have been together, she's never seen anything like it. "Justin, well- he told me that he couldn't, and that he didn't know how. I tried to help him. I prayed, I showed him examples, I did everything I could think of. I almost gave up, which is just what Satan wanted me to do. Give up. But my answers have been answered. Finally."
So, what was this miracle that touched this family of three and changed their lives forever?
The laundry was done. Washed. Dried. And, most importantly, folded.
"I just love that man!", Chelsea said as she gazed adoringly at her closet. "Even if this was a one time deal, I'm just so filled with happiness, because now I know that he can do it. And I have proof."

Accidents Happen

Friday night we had some friends and their twin 5 year old granddaughters over for dinner and fun.

Everything was going great.

In fact, it was going too well.

The adults were all sitting at the dinner table, and had just commented on how well the girls were playing. One of the twins came in and asked for some Valentine's candy that was out. My friend told her that it was too late and that she could not have any. And off she went.

We continued on with our conversations and about 5 minutes later, Maddie walked into the kitchen.

"Um, Mommy- if I lock the door, will it cause a fire?"

"No, but if a fire were to happen, we might not be able to get to you if the door is locked. Now, go play." And off she went.

It wasn't until later that night, when I was putting Maddie in bed that I noticed all of the open candy wrappers beside her bed.

Wow. Well, at least I know it wasn't Maddie. She wouldn't have done that. She knows better than to eat in her room, especially after the girls were told no candy.

Fast forward to the next day

"Mommy, I really need to tell you something." Guilt was written all over her face.

"What, baby?"

"Way-ul, last night, they were eating candy and kept telling me that I should eat some. I said that I didn't want any, but they kept begging me to. Some candy accidentally got opened in my hand, and I accidentally put it in my mouth, and then I accidentally swallowed it."

I could hardly contain my laughter. But I did and put on my stern face.

I explained that while I was proud of her for telling me, I was disappointed that she did what her friends were doing even though she knew it was wrong. I almost used the whole "if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" thing, but I didn't. I'm saving that one for later.

And then she countered with the fact that I didn't tell her that she couldn't. Only her friends' grandmother told them. And, that I should be really proud of her for not locking her door like her friends told her to, because she didn't want to be trapped in a fire.

When everything was said and done, I put all of her candy on top of the refrigerator and told her that she couldn't have any for one week. That would be her punishment.

I dread Saturday.

I'll have to confess that I've accidentally eaten most of it.

My Life Changed Today

Lately, when I go to the gym, I walk up to any machine that doesn't have someone right next to it, program my info, and proceed to do a mediocre workout. And I know that that's not going to cut it.

Especially when I've registered to do a half marathon on April 25.

On Monday, while I was barely running and getting frustrated because I just couldn't get into it, I tried to remember how I was able to train for my first half marathon.

And then it hit me.

At my other gym, the better gym, the nicer gym, they had tv's on every cardio equipment. I would just plug it into some music station and I could workout forever.

I'll just say that my current gym doesn't have tv's on every machine. To give it credit, though, it does have a cardio theatre that shows different movies. But, seriously, just how many times can you watch "Are We There Yet" or "Johnson Family Vacation" or "RV" without losing your mind?

So I came to the conclusion that I needed some type of MP3 player. I tried to think of ways to justify the cost. Well, if I don't get one, it will be like forfeiting the $86 registration fee because I'll never be able to finish the training. Our new car has a MP3 player hookup- we can get rid of our cd's.

I had it all worked out. I would get a small one that didn't cost too much and just listen to the same song over and over again.

When I checked me email, I knew that God had gotten tired of listening to me.

I won an iPod!!! Imagine my happy dance.

I programmed about 20 songs and while I was working out, I realised just how much I've been missing. It changed my workout. No- my LIFE.

My 10:30- 11 minute mile was a 9:13 mile. I ran faster and farther than I've done in a long time. And it felt good.

Okay- here's where you, my bloggy friends, come into play.

I need songs. When I was trying to program my favorites into my new best friend, my mind went blank.

What are you favorites? New or old. Fast or slow. Country or rock. Just no gangsta crap.

This plea for songs is two-fold. I want to know who still reads. I want to find some new blogs. I want to know if I should continue blogging. Okay, so that's four-fold, but whatever.

So, please, leave me some of your favorite songs. And let me know who you are.

That's all for now.

New Names

Maddie calls me "Mommy" for the most part. She will randomly switch up and call me "Mom" every now and then, and she went through a 2 day phase where she called me "Mother," because it sounded more princess-like. But I thought I would always be "Mommy" to her.

Until yesterday.

"Mommy, from now on, I want you to call me Sweetie-Pie."

"Okay, Sweetie-Pie. If I call you that, what are you going to call me?"

"Hot Mama."

God help me if she follows through.

My True Love

My first true love happened when I was a pre-teen. I went on a trip with my church's youth group to Nashville and fell in love. With the city.

I made several more trips as a teen to Nashville, but since most of them were with my church, I wasn't able to explore like I wanted. But the pull was there. Just what was going on downtown? Where was that music coming from? Who is walking down Broadway?

When I moved to a small college town, most weekends would find me and my roommate on the streets of Nashville. Going from nightclub to bar to honky-tonk. But I knew there was something more to the city.

Luckily I met a man that loves the city as much as I do. When we were dating, we would head downtown and explore. Museums, restaurants, and parks. We were basically tourists in our own city. And we still do it sometimes, just to see what's new.

This Christmas, I wanted to get Justin a book about Nashville. We paln on decorating our office in Nashville prints and pictures. And our coffee table looked kinda empty. It needed a book.

I searched and searched and found the perfect book. The only problem was I had a budget, and the book would cut into almost half of it. So I didn't get the book but promised myself that I would get it eventually.

Imagine my surprise and delight when I got an email asking to review a book about Nashville. Of course I said yes, and when the book came, I actually did a happy dance.

It was the same book I almost got Justin for Christmas. Historic Photos of Nashville by Jan Duke.

This book takes Nashville's history and makes it come alive. It has always been fun for me to imagine what Nashville was like back then, but now- I have pictures. And proof that I was born in the wrong time period.

One of my favorites include a picture of the Ryman Auditorium, where Justin proposed to me. Another is of Union Station, a train station converted to the prettiest hotel I've seen in this city.

The book retails for $39.99, which is really a great price when you consider the quality.

The only problem I've had with this book is keeping grubby fingerprints off the cover. You just can't resist it.

I May Be Converted. . .

to actually liking Valentine's Day. It may take several years of consistent great V-days, but if any of them are half as great as this one, I might be one of those people. The "Be my Valentine/I love everyone/where are my flowers/gimme chocolate because it's February 14" type of person, that is.

The 13th was actually the 9th anniversary of mine and Justin's first date. We tend to recognise that day as our anniversary more so than our wedding day, simply because our entire wedding day pretty much sucked. I'll save that for another post.

He called to tell me that he actually did get us a gift. Um...I didn't even get you a card, but whatever- what did you get me?

James Taylor tickets!! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about this. He is one musician that we've both wanted to see, but have never had the opportunity.

Then, on the actual day of love, my microwave was fixed. The repairman showed up, just a little late, but after 10 days of no microwave, I didn't even mind.

Work was work, but everyone was in a tipping mood. And that was fine by me.

And after I got home from work, Justin and I decided to go buy a new car. 2009 Nissan Sentra. We desperately needed it. And have needed it for about 3 years. So, yes, I'm excited.

And to top it all off- the dealership gave us a free flat-screen LCD tv. It is only a 19" but hey, it was free.

So, yes, I may begin to like Valentine's Day if they continue to be like this one. Right now, though, it's still somewhere between Labor Day and Halloween.

V-Day Love. . . Not So Much

I'm not a fan of V-day. I personally think it's silly to devote only one day to show the people around you that you love them. Commercialism at it's best.

It's turning into something so much more than a one day thing. I'm afraid that eventually, when someone mentions taking a holiday break, it will start with Thanksgiving, go through Christmas, Martin Luther King Day, Valentine's Day and end with President's Day.

One one side, that's great. People go out to eat several days before the big day to avoid the crowds. That helps me because I work in a restaurant, and in this economy, we need all the business we can get.

On the other side, it's kinda not. You start seeing pink and red hearts shortly after they get rid of the New Year's party gear. Cupids are flying around, shooting arrows all willy-nilly. Single men are hiding behind trees trying to avoid the arrows; single women are jumping up, hoping one might hit them. But not too soon. V-day can turn into something really awkward if the arrow hits too early. Nothing scares a man off quicker than feeling the pressure of declaring undying love over a box of chocolates.

Good times.

Maddie worked on her Valentine's cards all week. She struggle to find just the right card for just the right person. Which wasn't easy since the Barbie cards she chose only came in four variations. The mean boys all got heart ones, because "they need more love in their hearts."

Her party was going to be today. The kids worked for 2 weeks getting their boxes ready. Hearts were cut out and glued. Sparkles were placed in just the right place. I've gotten updates upon updates about the progress of the boxes.

I got word that school is canceled today. Over 20% of the children in the elemtary school have been out sick. Thank God Maddie isn't one of them.

The party has been post-poned until next Friday.

This stupid, made-up holiday is never going to end, is it?

Micro Problemo

We've had a traumatic past week. More so for me and Justin, than Maddie- but she has suffered, also.

Our microwave quit heating.

Do you have any idea just how stressful that can be? Easy Mac is no longer easy. Heating frozen dinners in the oven? 35-40 minutes. And that's after the oven is preheated. I actually ate leftover KFC mac'n'cheese cold. And I'll never do it again, I can promise you that.

Since it is built into the cabinetry, I can't simply go get a new one. And the stupid thing is under warranty, so I made the call to get someone to fix it.

The appointment was set for last Thursday between 8 and 12. I called and tried to confirm but had to leave a message. No one showed up.

I called again at 1. And 2. And 3. Finally someone called me back at 4 and explained that the part hadn't come in. Really? Why didn't someone call me and explained that? I could have actually taken a shower if I hadn't been afraid I would miss them. . .

They assured me that someone would be at my house on Saturday morning to fix the microwave.

Justin called them on Saturday morning and the part still had not come in. And once again, no one called to let us know.

I called today. And I was livid. After all, it had been a week. 2 appointments were not kept and we did not get a single phone call in the entire time.

"So and So Home Repair- How can I help you?" You can fix my freakin' microwave!

"Yes. My microwave has not worked in a week. We haven't heard from anyone about it. Someone was supposed to fix it on Thursday. And then Saturday. And No. One. Has. Called."

"Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry. I thought I had called everyone." Yeah right. I left 4 messages for you. Did you even listen to your messages? Cuz I'm pretty sure you would recognise my voice.

"Well, we never got a call." And I did that really sarcastic, "whatever you say" type of laugh.

"My father is the owner of the company. . . " Well I'll be happy to talk to him

". . . and we had to bury my mother yesterday. We closed the office for a few days." GULP

My microwave problems didn't really matter anymore. And I felt about 2 inches tall.

I told her how sorry I was and they could just get to my microwave whenever. But hopefully on Thursday.

And to please have someone call to confirm.

Teach Those Vultures Some Manners

Justin turned to me. "The vultures are waiting to pounce."

I looked back and saw exactly what he was talking about. "Let's get this over with." I replied.

We got out of our vehicle and within 13.5 seconds, we were approached. "SowhatcanIshowyou?Lookingforanythinginparticular?Pricerange?Blahblahblah"

Yes, we were car shopping.

We've needed a new vehicle for a loooong time. Our '99 Explorer has well over 200,000 miles and has needed a new engine for over 3 years.

And I think the main reason we've put off getting a new car was the dread of dealing with the sales people. I mean, besides the fact that we have been broke for well, ever.

So while they were practically begging us to take the first car we looked at for a test drive, we were trying to put them off because we were in a hurry to pick Maddie up from school. We promised to give them a call and set up an appointment if we decided we wanted to try it out.

"So, when were you hoping to buy a car?"

"We planned on doing it next week."

And then the floor manager asked us a question that I will admit to wanting to ask customers that look out of their element. Especially in February. But I never do because I wouldn't want to be that rude. It's just bad manners, in my opinion.

"Oh. Are you expectin' a check?"

"Um, yeah. We are."

And with that one question, she pretty much just lost our business. We will take our refund and spend it elsewhere. Thankyouverymuch.

Being Part Of The Family. . . sometimes sucks

I bought new work pants. Now, this may not seem like a big deal, but I tend to wear my work pants until they are literally falling apart. My old pants were more gray than black and the hems were gone.

I will admit that I've gained a few pounds in the last few months, but I decided to go ahead and not buy up a size. I reasoned with myself that I was sure I would look fine in them and in a couple of months, all would be back to normal.

I wore them to work on Saturday. You may remember that I wrote a few days ago about my work family. And like any other family, they call it like they see it. Believe me- it's not always pretty.

"Hey, are those new pants?" Wow. . . it sure is nice to have the little things noticed every once in a while.

"Yep. Believe me, I needed them."

"Your butt looks a lot bigger. You are now a member of the Official Big Booty Club." WHAT?!? Did he seriously just say that to me?

"Um. Wow."

Another voice chimes in

"You know, I noticed it's getting out there, too."

And another

"Ever heard that song 'Honkey-Tonk-Ba-Donk-a-donk?" Are you freakin' KIDDING me?

In my opinion, there are a few things that you just don't say to a white girl. And telling her that her butt is getting big is high up there on the list.

It lasted all. day. long.

And since I'm part of that crazy family, I received a new nickname.

And since I'm trying to shame myself into losing said booty, I'll share it with you.

I'm now known as Chelsea "Ba-Donk-A-Donk" Burns.

Hopefully, in a couple of months it will be something completely different.

I'm thinking Chelsea "Runner-girl" Burns. Or Chelsea "Where did her butt run off to?" Burns. Or Chelsea "Finished the half in 2:20" Burns.

Any other suggestions?

Need A Laugh?

Is it just me or has it been a craptastically loooong week? And not a very fun one either.

I had a long post written about everything that's been going on- in my world and in blogosphere. But then, I remembered a hilarious skit I saw and decided to share it instead.

Laughter is the best medicine, after all.




Funny, huh?

My Second Family

I work in a restaurant that is like one giant family. A dysfunctional one, but a family all the same.

We argue with each other. We laugh at each other. We get on each others' nerves. We help each other out when needed. We cry when something happens to another family member.

There is a grandmother figure. We have several loony great-aunts that we love. The moms and dads (managers) try their best to keep everyone in line.

There are several small groups made of individuals that are like sisters and brothers. Each of the groups treat the other groups similar to how one might treat cousins. We speak to one another. We hang out on occassion. We gossip about and with the other. We are there for each other when needed.

Our restaurant family tragically lost a family member on Sunday night. To me, she was like a cousin. But to many others, she was their sister.

And my heart breaks for them.