The Scariest Moment

When Maddie was two, she started snoring. Loud. Lumberjack snores. She was louder when she slept than she was when she was awake- okay, that may be stretching it a little, but not by much.

By the time she was four, she could compete with anyone over the age of 60. In fact, last Thanksgiving, when everyone blamed my mother-in -law for keeping them awake with her snoring, I let her take the blame, even though I knew it was Maddie.

I was hesitant to let her sleep over with friends. I was accustomed to sleeping with a pillow over my head to drown out the noise, but I didn't want anyone else to have to do that.

It wasn't until this past summer that we noticed a problem. She started waking herself up from sleep because she was gagging. When we took her to the doctor, her first response was "Whoa- those tonsils are huge. They need to come out."

A month later, we found ourselves strangely calm as we waited in the surgery center. 45 minutes later, the doctor informed us that everything went well and we could see her as soon as she awakened.

When we walked into the recovery center, we were greeted with a hysterical child that could not be comforted. That was the first time I questioned our decision to have this done.

The second, third, fourth, and fifth time I questioned myself came every time she woke up screaming in the middle of the night and nothing I did seemed to help.

We fashioned a bed for her in our living room. We let her watch as much television as she wanted. We offered her every kind of ice cream available. We snuggled. We tried everything.

She was pitiful.

Five days later, Maddie seemed to be doing better. She still was not eating or talking much but didn't need pain medicine as often.

Justin's mother and stepfather came over that Saturday night to visit and entertain Maddie. Maddie was on her best behavior. She sat in her granny's lap and whispered secrets. She smiled at all of our attempts to make her laugh. She never complained.

Until.

"Mommy, there is some liquid in my throat that won't go away."

"Okay. Why don't you go spit in a tissue and we'll see what it is. Justin- will you go in there with her?"

"CHELSEA!!! THERE'S BLOOD!"

I walk in and witnessed something I hope I never have to see again.

My five year old projectile vomitting blood. Lots of blood.

Crap. What have we done?

After a quick call to her ENT, he agreed to meet us at the emergency room at the hospital that is 45 minutes away.

That was the scariest 30 minutes of my life. Scary because Justin made the 45 minute drive in 30 minutes and because I had no idea what they were going to do to my baby. I was sitting in the back seat with ice packs on both sides of Maddie's throat praying. It was only when Justin had to slow down suddenly because of a blue hair driving the speed limit on the interstate that Maddie croaked her first four words since this nightmare began, "Mommy- you're choking me." Good times.

They took her into emergency surgery where they had to repair two bleeding spots and pump her stomach. The surgeon said that based on the amount of blood in her stomach, she had probably been bleeding and swallowing the blood for 8 hours. Yes, people- I DID get the mom of the year award.

And after a night in the hospital, we were sent home to begin the recovery process. Again.

In those two weeks, I seriously questioned if we did the right thing by having that first surgery. During the recovery time, I said repeatedly that I wish we hadn't done it. It just couldn't be worth it. Snoring isn't that big of a deal.

But now, 4 months after it happened- I can look back and realise that what happened is not the norm. It was a freak thing.

And, now- Maddie doesn't snore at all.

We sleep like normal people. With our heads on top of our pillow instead of under them.

Life is great.