This morning, I decided to forgo the gym and run outside. When it is cold out, I usually just run on the treadmill, but I recently purchased an entire Under Armour Cold Gear outfit, and I was ready to try it out.
So, I squeezed and stuffed myself into my all black running gear. By the time I was through, I resembled Catwoman. Without any makeup, hair in a scruffy ponytail, and wearing white socks and tennis shoes, that is. Hey, look at me. I kinda look like a real runner. Just like the ones in the ads for Under Armour gear, I thought.
I began running. It was 25 freakin' degrees. That's 25 degrees LESS than I would have preferred. But, I was sure I would warm up. After all, I had Under Armour cold gear on. It would protect me from the elements. Right?
Once I establish my rhythm, I like to pray. I talk to God about the things that are going on in my life, what I would like to happen, and I try to listen. Today was no different, except my prayer went something like this:
"Oh God, Please stop the wind. Can't you let the sun shine a little brighter and warm this place up? Even if it's only for the next 45 minutes, I'm cool with that. Please."
Since that wasn't working, and I was really cold, I began making promises and talking to myself.
"If you finish 3 miles in under 30 minutes, you can have Taco Bell for lunch. Nachos BellGrande sounds good, doesn't it? Go faster. It'll be over soon."
And then, around mile 2- completely shaded, and really cold, by the way- I began wishing for Under Armour gloves, Under Armour socks, Under. . . under. . . OH. SCHNAPP.
Was I supposed to be wearing this under something? Something like a sweatsuit? To help keep me warm? But, what about those ads? They aren't wearing anything over their outfits. Of course, they aren't, you big dummy. How could they advertise it, if it was covered up? Great. I'm an idiot.
I finished my run, trying my best not to look like the biggest Jello Jiggler in history and not making eye contact with any of the other properly attired runners.
I had my Nachos BellGrande and a Taco Supreme for lunch. I thought I deserved it.
I probably didn't deserve the pizza I had for dinner. I'm taking comfort in the fact that now, I know I can wear something over my catsuit.
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