Standings

Justin and I have been married for a little over 8 years. And over those 8 years, there is one thing that is blatantly clear.

I'm the favorite daughter in law.

And I like my position at the top.

I know that she only has 2 sons, and you are either first or last, but I'll take what I can get.

Her oldest son was, until recently, might as well have been married to the anti-Christ. And I kinda ate it up.

Family functions were always entertaining. Particularly when I was left alone with Justin's mom. "Did you hear what she said?" "Why is she so loud?" "I can't believe how much gravy she poured over her turkey."

Once we got word that she is no longer part of the Burns family, I assumed I was safe in my numero uno spot.

Until. . .

Justin's brother got a girlfriend. That he knew a long time ago. Before I was around. Meaning- Justin's mom has known her longer than she's known me.

I wasn't worried at first.

But lately, every time I talk to Bettye, it's all: "Katrina said that she loves my horses." "Katrina is coming to visit us." "Katrina is not loud or boisterous like some people." "Katrina sings. In church."

DID YOU HEAR THAT PEOPLE?!?!? She sings. In. Church.

Where the previous wife was the Anti-Christ, Katrina is a freakin' angel.

A few days ago, we were joking around with Bettye, telling her that we'll make sure the nursing home we choose will take good care of her. And that we'll label all of her clothes. We joke around with her like this all the time. No big deal. Or so I thought. But when she said, "Well, I'm sure my new daughter in law will take care of me."

My heart sank. Crap. Did we go too far? Surely she knows we were joking. She can absolutely live with us. In fact, she can move in tomorrow.

I'll admit, I'm pretty worried.

However, every time I get concerned about my standings, I remember one important fact.

She will be his FOURTH wife.

And that has to count for something, right?