What Happens When My Inner Monologue Takes Over Mouth

Sometimes, it happens and there is no stopping it. It can get pretty ugly. But, sometimes, it's just plain funny.

Man at table: "We're ready for the bread. Right now.
Me: "Well, sir- if I lived in a bottle and my name was Jeannie, you'd have your bread. Right. Now."

Thankfully, his daughter recognized the humor in what I said and laughed. She took care of the tip.